The inventors of the brochure have sadly passed away.
RIP Pam Flett and her husband, Lee.
My wife just finished a 40-week bodybuilding program this morning
It’s a girl.
Weighs 7 lbs 12 oz.
My son showed me a picture of his new girlfriendShe was dressed in full hockey gear including pads, a mask, gloves and a blocker.
I said "congratulations. She looks like a keeper."
Did you hear about the priest who stapled his testicles together?
He figured if you can't beat them, join them.
If you know any good fish puns
...please let minnow.
A chicken was found dead in his coop.
He was a victim of fowl play
What is a police officer’s favorite thing to wear?
A pull over
My grandfather was quite sick. The medicines weren't working so we tried covering his back with lard.
After that he went downhill very quickly.
Microsoft just entered the domestic appliance market with a new vacuum cleaner
It's the first thing they've done in quite some time that didn't suck.
I got gas for $1.49 today
Unfortunately it was from Taco Bell
What are two witches, that live together?
Broommates
Maths.There's a fine line between a denominator and a numerator.
Only a fraction of people will find this funny.
And less than half will get it.
I'm thinking about posting an online broadcast about sheep who eat potatoes.
I'm thinking about posting an online broadcast about sheep who eat potatoes. Would that make me a EweTuber?
A guy gave his friends 10 puns hoping that one of them would make him laugh.
Sadly no pun in ten did.
So you wanna learn how to prepare Japanese style soy sauce?
It’s a little hard to explain, but I can Shoyu.
I was born with four kidneys
Now I have two kidneys and two adult knees
I have trouble sleeping, so I got myself some blackout curtains.
The difference is like night and day.
A woman proves she can take on heavy projectsA woman was tired of people acting like she didn’t know how to do things around the house, so one day she decided she was going to prove she could handle a big project all on her own.
While her husband was at work, she decided she’d paint a couple of rooms.
Later that afternoon, her husband came home and immediately smelled fresh paint.
He walked into the living room and found his wife lying on the floor, exhausted and dripping with sweat — wearing a heavy parka over a leather jacket.
He rushed over. “Are you okay?”
She said, “I’m fine. I just wanted to prove I could do this myself.”
He looked at her and asked, “Honey… why in the world are you wearing a jacket and a parka?”
She pointed to the paint can and said:
“Because the directions say: For best results, put on two coats.”
Which type of doctor is most available?
An on-call-ogist
What is the favorite meal of skeletons?
Ribs
Wanna hear a dirty joke?
The white horse got all muddy!
I asked my husband to explain "active verbs" to me, but after his explanation
I know I'm fucking stupid.
Fork lift operator has been out of work for sometime
Hopefully, things pick up soon!
Johann Sebastian Bach had 20 children.
No wonder he was Baroque.
What do you call somebody that has no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
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