Rofkar Computer Sciences

"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up,”said a sarcastic teacher.
After a long silence, one student rose to her feet.

“Now then young lady, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" inquired the teacher with a sneer.

“Well, actually I don't," said the girl, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."

As I got off the elevator, the operator said, “Have a good day, son.” I said, “Don’t call me son. You’re not my dad.”
He replied, “Maybe not… but I did bring you up.”

My girlfriend said I have no sense of direction.
So I packed my things and right.

I'm proud of my 13 yo daughter. I told her to load and run the dishwasher.
She said the dishwasher can't run... it's got no legs!

I'm glad to see my teaching has not been wasted.

One of my friends is a flat earther.
Though he prefers i use the term bulldozer operator.

I recently took a pole…
And found that 100% of the people in the tent were angry when it collapsed.

My neighbour told me he was scared to plant an apple tree…
I told him to grow a pear.

have you heard of the picture that got a death sentence?
i heard it'll be hanged soon, but apparently it got framed. so for the meantime, i hope it's hanging in there

I went to a store where they use explosives to create jewelry.
As I entered there was a loud "bang". It made my earring.

I told my wife I had a joke about construction but I'm still working on it
So last night at dinner my kid asked me why I always have a joke ready for every situation. I told him it was just part of my foundation. He groaned. My wife put her head in her hands. I considered it a success.

But honestly it got me thinking about all the construction puns out there just waiting to be built upon. Like, I tried to come up with a joke about concrete but it kept hardening back to the same punchline. I thought about roofing jokes but they all go over people's heads. Even my jokes about elevators have their ups and downs.

My personal favorite to tell at family gatherings: I asked my brotherinlaw what his favorite part of being a contractor was. He said the money. I said mine was all the groundbreaking work.

He has not invited me to a cookout since 2019 and I respect that boundary while also refusing to change my behavior in any way whatsoever.

If you have a good construction pun I would love to hear it. I am always looking to add more material. My family is begging me not to but their opinion was not solicited and will not be considered.

Drop your best below.

Best part of flying on an airplane seated next to a green bean?
The legume.

Who were the knights of the round table
Who’s the knight who moonlights as a geologist?
Sir Vey

Who’s most the agreeable knight?
Sir Tenly

Who’s the Knight who used to be a slave?
Sir Vent

What’s the difference between a bad joke and a dad joke?
The first letter!

I bought a used dictionary at a local flea market. I got it cheap because someone had torn out both the first few and last few pages from the book.
Trying to actually use the dictionary was difficult, however: it only went from bad to worse.

Yachts.
A wealthy Frenchman was showing off his yachts.
"This is un, this is deux, this is trois, this is quatre, this is six..." "What happened to five?" his wife asked.
"Cinq" he answered

I saw this bloke with a long stick outside the stadium
'Are you a pole vaulter?' I asked.

'No,' he replied. 'I'm German and how did you know that my name was Walter?'

A rabbit wakes up and realizes his fur is completely tangled up
It was a bad hare day

I was driving past a cemetery this morning and saw a man walking around. I shouted, “Morning!”
He replied, “No, just walking the dog.”

What do you call a fish wearing a bow tie?
Sofishticated.

Why do we dress baby boys in blue, and baby girls in pink?
Because they can’t dress themselves.

I asked an aging pirate if he could remember his age
His reply : Aye matey

Where's the best place in Canada to find a Bigfoot?
Sasquatchewan

Why can't North Koreans go to heaven?
They have no Seoul.

Today I told my wife about the scientist...
..who imagined a machine which could lessen sudden high-velocity incidents of wind. He never pursued it, though, because he found the whole idea disgusting.

I just ran in to an old friend yesterday
Sadly he is in the icu now