A man walked into a bar
He put a Sony Walkman from Japan on the bar. Then he put a blaupunkt car stereo from Germany on the bar. Then he put a Bang & Olufsen hifi from Denmark on the bar. Then he put a generic branded boom box from China on the bar.
The barman said to him " Sorry, we don't allow jokes based on stereo-types from different countries in here"
What did the retired pirate say?
'I'm too old for this ship!'
What do you call someone who is 10% asian?
Slight-lee
I took my car in for a service yesterday.
It's still stuck in the church doorway.
I wanted to tell you a joke about a three legged horse.
But it is lame.
I make about 6 figures a day
But I work in a toy factory, and I fear I will not survive the performance review.
I just heard a really scary joke about Math.
But I'm 2² to repeat it.
What’s the lowest car in the world?
A limbosine
A guy walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder.The bartender says, “Interesting pet, what’s his name”.
“Tiny”, the guy says.
“Why Tiny”, the bartender asks.
“Because he’s my newt”.
Caveman discovers weed.... Caveman discovers fire....
Stoned Age begins…....
Business people shouldn't wear glasses
It shows a lack of faith in their vision
Why was the mermaid wearing seashells?
The B shells were too small.
If the Easter Bunny’s favorite sport is basketball, what’s Jesus’s favorite sport?
Lacrosse
Do you have any suggestions where I could apply for a job?
How about the local Search & Rescue team? They're always looking for someone.
My wife said I could be an idiot sometimes.
I think it is pretty cool of her to give me permission.
My first day working at the shoe store went great, but I discovered I have a very specific fetish.
I got off on the right foot.
My wife says I’m getting fat, but in my defense..
I’ve had a lot on my plate lately.
Eggs.What kind of car does an egg drive?
A yolkswagen.
What animal tracks should you avoid, unless you want to get stabbed in the back?
Bee trails
Who wouldn’t you invite to a function?
Your math teacher
I told my son I named my backups final_final_v2 ...He said, so they’re not real backups?
I said, no, they’re just emotional support files. :')
Chlorine goes for a sleepover at Neon’s house.In the morning, Neon offers them breakfast - cereal, in a mug. Chlorine asks why it’s in a mug, and Neon replies:
“I’m a no-bowl gas, duh.”
Does anyone know if Hawaii allows for very loud laughing...
...or is it just a low ha?
I just accidentally superglued my thumb and index finger together and at first, I started to panic but then I remembered that...
...it’s always going to be okay!
People often ask if my brother is lazy.I tell them no, he’s just permanently in "energy-saving mode."
He’s basically a human laptop with a broken charger.
top
