What do you call a Sith Lord that’s from the South?
Darth Y’all
What do you call a criminal landing an airplane?
Condescending.
What fairground ride is made of metal?
The ferrous wheel
What’s Medusa’s favorite cheese?
Gorgonzola
What should you do if you’re attacked by a group of clowns?
Go straight for the juggler
"I'd like to buy a muffin with chocolate chips".
"Sorry, we only take cash".
What do you call a parrot that can't fly?
A walkie-talkie
I bought some coconut shampoo today
But when I got home, I realized I don't even have a coconut.
My foot fell asleep this morning
Guess you could say I was coma-toes
I asked my wife to stop shaking the orange juice before she pours it, but she keeps doing it.
That’s so damn agitating.
Why do French people eat snails?
Because they don’t like fast food
What kind of haircut do bees get?
A buzz cut!
When he took the Throne, the Prince demanded that only Red and Blue be used for his Coronation
Historians would later call it the "Purple Reign"
I told my wife. I thought she drew her eyebrows a little too high.
She looked surprised….
My mum's sister started making her own spreadsheets
She's Excel Aunt
Where do single lions go for a Spanish vacation?
Catalonia
1.5M pounds of hot dogs, etc. are being recalled
To be frank, it's terrible.
Who is Pac-Man’s favorite music artist?
Waka Waka Waka Flocka Flame
Time fliesI was at a friend's house last night for dinner. She asked me for help in making the salad, which required thyme leaves. So at one point she asked me to strip some leaves off of the branches (look up how thyme grows, if this doesn't make sense). When we had enough, I put the thyme back into the baggie, said "Heads up!", threw the baggie of thyme towards her, and stated, "I'm having fun!"
Sadly, I had to explain it, but got sufficient groans after doing that. Success!
What do you call a squirrel that eats shapes?
A squarrel
What do you call a small green legume that rolls off your plate?
An escaPEA! (I’m here all week. Please tip your server.)
Wrestling is stupid.
It's just guys without pants, fighting for a belt.
Got a solid groan on this one...
My daughter wanted me to take her shopping at "The Hot Topic" at the mall. I said that store is too edgy and we should go shopping at The Warm Subject instead. Waka Waka...
A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but saran wrapPsychologists looks up and says, "I can clearly see you're nuts"
yeah
What is a word that starts and ends with the same letter, and has a little laugh in it?
You will smile when you realize that is the answer.
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