Vet: "Yes". Woman: "How can you be sure you've done no tests?".
The vet brings in a Labrador retriever which sniffs the duck and shakes its head. Next, a cat sniffs the duck and shakes its head. Vet says "sorry, but as I said your duck is dead".
Vet hands woman a bill. She cries, "$820 to tell me my duck is dead!". Vet says "if you had taken my word for it, the bill would be $20, but Lab Reports and Cat Scans cost extra".
“Pittsburgh!” The guy answers.
“No! What are you talking about? Try again.” The priest replies.
The guy think for a moment and says “Philadelphia?”
The priest shakes his head and says “Bethlehem. Jesus was born in Bethlehem.”
The guys says “I knew it was a city in Pennsylvania!”
Wanna ride bikes?
The bartender says, “Hey, we don’t serve your type. Get outta here before I call the Serif!”
“Get a load of this newbie,” Helvetica scoffs. “What’s your name, bartender?”
“Roman,” says the bartender, flustered at being hassled on his first shift, “but what does that have to do with anything?”
Helvetica leans in. “You better get with the Times New Roman,” she jeers, “because someone shot the Serif!”
“What?!” gasps Arial. “Do you mean to say this whole town is Sans Serif?”
== longer version below ==
Arial and Helvetica walk into a saloon.
The bartender says, “Hey, we don’t serve your type. Get outta here before I call the Serif!”
“Get a load of this rookie,” Helvetica scoffs. “What’s your name, bartender, haven’t seen you around these parts before.”
“Roman,” says the veteran bartender, flustered at being called a rookie, “I’ve been around this town longer than you’ve been alive kid, I just haven’t been up front in a while. But what does that have to do with anything? I still won’t serve you nothin’!”
Helvetica leans in. “Well, you better get with the Times New Roman, the tides have shifted and soon you and all your typefaces will be tipping your cowboy caps to me,” she jeers.
“Ha”, Roman snickers, “I wear a sombrero.”
Helvetica lowered her eyebrows. “Sombreros too”, she growled.
Roman narrowed his eyes, sneering mischievously. Locking eyes with Helvetica he whispers, “Sometimes I wear a bowler cap”.
“ALL CAPS!” shouts Helvetica slamming her fists down on the bar top, glaring at the obstinate bartender.
Roman flinched at the outburst but shrugged it off. “Say whatever you want kid, but nothing you’ve said has been justified and I’ll tell you what - one day soon you’ll regret being so bold.”
“Perhaps not, but that’s the way you tell it. Italic like this”, she adds nonchalantly, standing up and smoothing out her coat, “someone shot the Serif.”
“What?!” gasps Arial. “Do you mean to say this whole town is Sans Serif?”
"Laws that forbid the carrying of arms...disarm only those who are neither inclined nor determined to commit crimes." - Thomas Jefferson
