My wife is threatening to divorce me because I'm obsessed with Africa.Kenya believe it?
I'd hate for her Togo and leave me...
What am I Guinea do now?
This is all so Sudan...
And we have kids, this is Ghana be hard for them
But you know what? She Congo to Hell.
Why can't JD Vance can't get pregnant?
He has a pull out couch.
My 5-year-old asked me why the sun goes down at night.
I told him it’s because the sun gets tired of watching him refuse to put his shoes on.
He’s been staring out the window for twenty minutes trying to apologize to the sky.
I got fired from my job at the bank today.
An old lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
What do you call an alien with 3 balls?
An extraterrestical
What do you call a line of men waiting to get a haircut?
A barber queue
As it turns out, some kinds of bread are sworn to secrecy.
It's called a Naan disclosure agreement
Airport police say that the number of people smuggling helium balloons in their luggage is under control.
But cases continue to rise.
Every time I light my lighter, my lighter gets lighter...
...until my lighter gets so light it won’t light.
I had a girl in my class who was a bit of a show off and liked to dress in revealing clothing
Some called her unflattering things, but I think she was a model student.
After massive public outcry from users believing Alexa was listening on everything
Amazon has announced it will be releasing a male version, as it won't be listening to anything at all.
I told my son I know the Spanish word for cheese
He responded - 'K so?
Does sean connery like herbs?
Yes, but only partially
What kind of business could a hairdresser open to pass along her wealth after she dies?
An heir salon.
Someone just rang my phone, sneezed, blew their nose, and hung up.
I hate cold callers!
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef
Why is the owner of the new Buffalo NFL stadium so angry?
He has a lot of Bills to pay.
Triple Shot: What do you call a Fiat on top of a hill?A miracle! What do you call 2 Fiats on top of a hill? Science Fiction
What do you call 3 Fiats on top of a hill? A weird place to build a Fiat factory.
Coworker just got fired for throwing keycaps.
SHIFT hit the fan and it all went downhill from there.
Two dragons walk into a pub; one says to the other, "it's hot in here."
The other dragon replies, "Oh yeah? Shut your mouth."
If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?
Idaho... Alaska!
I tried to buy a bagel with cream cheese...
But they only accept cash.
Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter?
Pretty nuts, right?
A jury member spreads melted butter onto a cob. The smell drifted across the courtroom and everyone drooled, even the judge
He was imprisoned for corn tempt of court.
What does Jeff Bezos do just before going to bed?
He puts his pajAMAZON.
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