What is the difference between a Vietnamese restaurant and an Indian restaurant ?One is Pho profit and the other is Naan profit.
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/u/gssap [link] [comments] How much does a pirate pay for 100 ears of corn?
$103.14. A buck an ear, plus the pi-rate tax!
The country with the largest number of parks in the world is Korea.
As a matter of fact, I'm good friends with five of them.
It's probably just as well McDonald's never put a sirloin sandwich on the menu.
It would have been a McSteak.
Before the town's locksmith died, he made me promise to take care of his dog.
I only had the dog in my home for half an hour when he made a bolt for the door.
I’m reading a horror book in braille
Something bad is gonna happen, I can feel it
What do you call a spy who’s into BDSM?
James Bondage.
What did the sushi say to the Bee?
Wasbi!
Why did someone name their dogs Timex and Rolex?
Because they were watchdogs.
I have a fear of driving under bridges with passengers in my car.
I have carpool tunnel syndrome.
My dad got me into marionette school.
He had to pull a few strings.
Where in a hospital would u find decaffeinated coffee?
In decaffeteria.
There have been so many reports of screen problems that Apple is going back to the drawing board and redesigning the hinge. The newer version of this will be called...
the iPhone Duo-ver.
I stormed out of the diner when they said they were out of bread.
I am lack toast intolerant.
Had a neck brace fitted years ago
Haven’t looked back since
How much smaller is the EU after Brexit?
1 GB.
What type of pasta are you not allowed to put on the table?
Elbows.
The clocks go back?
Yesterday the wife said "Don't forget the clocks need to go back tonight." Talk about no warning, I don't even know where the receipts are!
I used to have an uncontrollable obsession with buying large boats.
Thankfully, the antibuyyachtics worked.
What country do the best goalies come from?
Mongolia!
If prisoners could take their own mug shots …
Would they be called cellfies?
My cat ate all the food in our house!
It looked like a real meowthful
A sheik is trying to buy up every fish and chip shop in the UK
He's called Sultan Vinegar.
I saw an army of babies marching down the street.
It had to be the infantry.
What does a robot do after sex?
Nuts and bolts
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