Scarlet Johansson...There’s an airline crash in the Pacific.
The only two survivors are a young man, Steve, and an unconscious young woman.
Steve finds the young woman clinging to a piece of debris. He tows her to a small, deserted atoll.
The young woman does not regain consciousness for a week. In the meantime, Steve cares for her; keeps her sheltered, watered, fed and clean.
When the young woman finally comes to, Steve is shocked when he realises that she is actually Scarlet johansson.
It takes Scarlet another week or so to fully recover.
Once she does, they share their survival responsibilities equally. Steve is the better cook, Scarlet the better diver.
After a month or so, Scarlet begins to realise what a find Steve is.
He’s intelligent, unassuming, fit, not unattractive, caring, and he has made zero attempt to jump her.
Romance blooms.
Steve turns out to be an imaginative and enthusiastic lover.
Bliss reigns.
One night, some time later, while sitting around the campfire, Scarlet notices that Steve is a bit glum.
“Are you OK?” she asks.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Steve says.
“No, you’re not, Steve. Something’s wrong. What’s wrong, Steve?”
“No, I’m OK. Really,” Steve says.
“Steve, if there’s something missing, something you need, I want to help.”
“I’m sorry, Scarlet, but you’d think I was really weird.”
“Weird!”, Scarlet exclaims. “I work in Hollywood. Steve, you have no idea. Please, let me help.”
“Are you sure?” Steve asks quietly.
“I’m sure,” Scarlet says. “What do you want me to do?”
“Well,” says Steve.
“Can you put on my cap and tuck your hair up in it?”
“Thanks. Now, can you take this piece of charcoal and use it to draw yourself a moustache?”
“Thanks. Now, do you mind if I call you Joe?”
“Joe?” asks Scarlet. “OK, you can call me Joe.”
A long pause in the firelight
“Joe,” says Steve.
“You are NOT going to believe who I’ve been sleeping with.”
I just found my old theremin!
I should throw it out. I’ve never touched it.
Say what you want about a blind prostitute...
...but you really gotta hand it to them.
A man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulderThe bartender says, 'What an interesting pet, what's his name?
‘Tiny,' the man replies.
What an odd name, why do you call him Tiny?'
‘Because...he's my newt.'
I got kicked out from a vietnamese restaurant...
They banh mi pho life
I created a laughing gas that also works as a laxative.
It's just for shits and giggles.
Why did the soup taste funny?
It was made from laughing stock.
The older I get, the more I regret all the people l've lost over the years
Maybe being a trail guide wasn't such a great idea after all.
I started my new job at the broth factory yesterday.
It came with great stock options.
I thought I heard someone say hello to me in Arabic,
Turns out it was a false Salaam.
I turned down a job that would have paid me with vegetables. The celery was unacceptable.
What does a blindfold do?
Clothes your eyes
Where’s the worst place to hide in a hospital?
The I-C-U
I knew a guy who would go around stealing cooking utensils from professional chefs…
He was a Whisktaker.
While running laps around the exam room, my doctor said I don't have enough stress in my life...
It was something about me having a tension deficit disorder.
How do they settle court cases in a banana republic?
In the court of a-peels.
What do you call a doctor that treats spiders?
WebMD
Why did the hot chocolate call the police…
Because it got mugged ☕😅
You want me to just tell you what time it is? No way!
Not on my watch.
Running into stationary objects can be painful...
According to a recent pole
Why couldn't the engine hear?
It didn't have any engineers.
Why are astronauts so humbled after they return from space?
Because they are down-to-earth.
Shell fish apparently never forget their way back home regardless of how far away they swim
They have great mussel memory
What’s a tattoo artist’s favorite shot shape to hit in golf?
They can’t decide between the cut, draw, and stinger.
Last night I was out for a run and noticed some fog trying to catch up to me
Luckily it mist.
top
