Breaking News: A man has been stealing wheels off of police cars.
the Police are working tirelessly to catch him.
What’s faster than an escalator?
An escasooner
My Theft Remains Undetected.I stole a board game from my sister.
She has no Clue.
Did you know "The Flintstones" is controversial in the United Arab Emirates?
People in Dubai don't like it, but people in Abu Dhabi DOOOOOO
Mike Tyson is SO religious…
That he punches people in the faith.
Why is George R. R. Martin not on Twitter/X?
Because he killed all 280 characters.
How does Jesus prepare his coffee…
Hebrews it.
A man was rushed to the hospital, with the whole left side of his body missing.
He's all right now.
Why do lazy people hate origami?
Too much paperwork.
Sad news....I lost my job as a stage designer
I wasn't very happy but left without making a scene.
Guy at my work only gives back rubs to other guys
He’s a massagenist.
What do you call a rich Chinese guy?
Cha ching!
Sad news indeed... The guy who championed males and females to play Tennis together has passed away.
Rest in peace Mick Stubbles
Does Your S.O. Like Star Wars?
If you're dating someone who doesn't like Star Wars, you're looking for love in Alderaan places.
Justice is best served cold.
If it was served warm it would be justwater.
My son asked me.My son asked me," Where does poo come from?"
I was a little uncomfortable but gave him an honest explanation.
He looked at me a bit perplexed and stared at me in stunned silence.
"And Tigger?"
Have you heard Alanis Morrisette drives a Hyundai EV?
Is it an Ioniq?
Joined a gym and they put me on a resistance training program.
It's going really well. So far I've resisted training every day this week
At dinner on our first date, I asked if I could tell dad jokes.Annoyed, she said, “Fine…”
So I turned to my dad and said, “Two guys walk into a bar…”
A trans person punched me!
Ouch, that hrts!
I went to the doctor's last week and it turns out I'm both gay and dyslexic.
I'm still in Daniel.
I'm addicted to getting star wars tattoos. I'm going to stop by slowly tapering off how frequently I get them.
I'm calling it my tattoo-ween.
What do you call a tiger that doesn’t like sweets?
A Savor-toothed Tiger
What’s worse than a box full of snakes?
A box that was SUPPOSED to be full of snakes.
So I had rounded up all the chickens and was about to close the coop for the night only to find out that I didn't have the key on me anymore. Needless to say, had to do a lot of...
....bawktracking...
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