I just discovered that the word 'nothing' is a palindrome...
Backwards it spells 'gnihton', which also means nothing.
My girlfriend crashed our car this morning.When the police came she said the guy involved was on his mobile and eating a pie at the time.
The police advised her the guy was entitled to do what he wanted in his own living room.
Have you heard about the French suicide bomber?
Napoleon blownapart
What does Donald trump call the people who dont support his plan to build giant monuments in Washington DC?
His Arch-Enemies
I got fired from the clock factory.
I thought putting in extra hours was supposed to be a good thing.
Why was the basketball court all wet?
People kept dribbling all over it.
i like to throw soy sauce at sad people ...
you know, Kikkoman when he's down
My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo.
I had to put my foot down.
I programmed a new pirates game.
It's an ARRRRRPG.
Tried to teach my dog how to dance
but the poor girl's got two left feet.
Current AI-models are closer to PhD-level intelligence
The next release we should expect them to be as intelligent as someone who decided not to do a PhD
My neighbour banged on the wall at 4:30am this morning!!!!Can you believe it. Lucky I was still awake listening to music.
They banged and shouted "Can we have a little respect please?"
I shouted back "I'm not a big Aretha Franklin fan but this ones for you"
I really wish drivers would learn not to tailgate ...
... besides, those red and blue flashing lights on your car look ridiculous!
Did you hear the department of transportation is laying off thousands of workers?
They invented a shovel that stands up by itself.
Our county used to have three medical examiners.Now we only have one.
With today’s economy, it seems everyone is
cutting coroners.
The clerk at the DMV asked how I pronounce my last name.
I said, “Oh, I use a combination of my vocal cords, tongue, and lips.”
I tried to return a pair of worn Scooby Doo undies today but the shop wouldn’t accept them
I’d have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for those pesky skids
What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?If you guessed R, you should be ashamed of yourself.
Everyone knows a pirate's first love is the C.
I don't trust stairs....
They are always up to something.
That's a great ham you got there
It would be shame if someone put an S in front and E behind it.
Scientists have discovered a new type of Polar Bear!It exists in both the Arctic and Antarctic, it suffers from depressive episodes with moments of excitation and is sexually indiscriminate.
They've called it the Bi-Polar, bipolar, Bi Polar Bear.
I’m not saying I’m old, but
I can remember when the Dead Sea was only sick.
What do you call it when theres 2 places to park your boat, but theres never any space available?
A very frustrating pair o' docks
What’s your dad’s favorite key on a keyboard?
Who knows, but it isn’t Return.
What’s a scarecrow’s favourite fruit?
Strawberry
top
