Having sex can make your day.
But having anal sex can make your hole weak...
I saw a bumper sticker that said, “Beware of the idiot behind me.”
So I followed him until I figured out who the idiot was.
Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in another box
How many apples can you eat in the morning on an empty stomach?
One, because the rest are no longer on an empty stomach
What is the easiest way into medical school?
By donating your body to science.
I used to be addicted to soap
but I'm clean now
What do you get when a country singer blows his nose?
A boot scootin' boogie
My school teacher said I was no good at poetry due to my dyslexia
Well so far I have made two beautiful vases, a milk jug and an egg cup so I think the joke is on you Mrs Edwards!
What do you call an excersising nun?
A firm believer
A wealthy girl was about to get married when her dad died. In shock she went to see the kind old man who had run her apartment building’s elevator for decades. Through teary eyes she asked, “Joe, would you give me away at my wedding?”
“I really feel like you brought me up”
My wife told me the salads I make tend to be on the dry side...
...this is definitely something that needs addressing.
I just hired a cat to tend to my garden
He's meowing the lawn right now
What do you get if you masturbate for 5 days?
A weak end
When I was younger, I felt like a man trapped in a woman’s body.
Then I was born.
Know why you should not go for a cheap circumcision?
Because they are nothing but a rip off.
What do you call a broken clock?
A waste of time.
Do you know what they do when they need to circumcise a whale?
They send down four skin divers.
My nephew’s the best baseball player in his school. Come rain or shine he always performs
Even when he’s sick he gets the runs
What has a neck but no head?
A bottle
What is the Funeral Director's favourite drink?
He can't start his day without his Mourning Coffee.
Did you know half of the days are named Greg and the other half are named Ian?
It is the gregorian calendar.
Any sofa can be a sofa bed…
Just tell your wife to calm down.
My cousin William loves his protein shakes. Always carries around a bag of protein powder.
Where there’s a Will, there’s a whey.
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
Where's popcorn?
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