[warning 18+]
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Why are we still allowing adult jokes here?A dad joke is something you can tell a child. It's innocent and sometimes dumb, but is never adult in nature.
I know I'm not the first to say this, I keep seeing inappropriate jokes posted.
Edit: After the many replies, I now understand that my idea of a dad joke does not match this subs.
Thanks for educating me on the error of my ways.
Accordion to a recent survey,
inserting musical instruments into sentences goes largely unnoticed.
My math teacher said that I was an average student…
I told her that was mean
What is the difference between a Genealogist and a Gynecologist?One looks at the family tree.
Other looks at the family bush.
How does an alchemist please his wife?
Elixir
why did the chicken cross the playground?
to get to the other slide
If you ever want to build a big ship to save animals from a flood, come to me.I Noah guy.
He's an arkitect.
Do you know how much a rainbow weights?
Not much, it's pretty light.
I just checked my home insurance, if my duvet gets stolen in the middle of the night...
I won't be covered.
I had to stop dating the tennis player.
Love meant nothing to her.
Did you hear about the rabbit who lost a race and had to drink a hot fish beverage?
It was a missed hopper tuna tea.
Reading jokes on this sub comforted me when I lost my dad last week.
They also helped after we found him.
Why did the sea monster eat 5 ships that were carrying potatoes?
Because no one can just eat one potato ship.
What’s the difference between an Indian and Vietnamese restaurant?
One is Pho profit. The other is Naan profit.
Why did they call it Mario Kart...
When Mario Speedwagon was right there?
A man is awoken in the middle of the night by his doorbell.A man is awoken in the middle of the night by his doorbell. Before he can even fully open the door, a giant, six-legged cockroach leaps on him, punching and kicking him relentlessly. After several minutes of being pummeled, the creature scuttles away into the darkness. The man, bruised and dazed, staggers back to bed, but a few hours later, the doorbell rings again.
Thinking it might be help, he rushes to open it, only for the same cockroach to pounce and beat him for a full ten minutes. The man is so exhausted he sleeps right there on the hallway floor. The next morning, he drags himself to the doctor's office. Seeing the massive line, his heart sinks, but the doctor spots him, waves him inside immediately, and says, "Let me guess... you were awoken by a giant cockroach that beat you up?"
Shocked, the man asks, "How did you know that?" The doctor sighs and says, "There's a nasty bug going round!".
Bears.My wife called to tell me she saw a bear on the way to work.
I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work.
She hung up on me.
Its sad that we don’t manufacture anything in the UK anymoreI just noticed my car says “Built-in bluetooth”.
I don’t even know where that is
Why do birds fly south for the winter?
Because it's MUCH easier than walking.
I don't often tell dad jokes.
But when I do he doesn't laugh. He's dead
What do you put down as collateral when you borrow a sheep?
A simple I.O.Ewe will suffice
What is the difference between an Indian restaurant and a Vietnamese restaurant?
Vietnamese restaurants are pho profit, Indian are naan profit.
i asked some fish if they have legs
i got two nahs
Two fish are in an armored personnel carrier, one turns to the other and says…
"I thought you said we'd be in a tank"
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