Rofkar Computer Sciences

What was the last thing Grandpa said before he kicked the bucket?
Let’s see how far I can kick this bucket

I was just assaulted by man with a block of cheese….
I mean, how dairy!

Henry Winkler has launched the Happy Days Crypto Currency
He denied allegations that it is a Fonzie scheme.

I tried to start a new hobby of dangling off famous towers, but i didn't last beyond the first one.
Eiffel.

My friend won't stop making bird puns.
But toucan play that game.

A true dinner time story
Tonight, we were eating burgers, and one of my kids decided to try to look into the hole in the ketchup bottle.

Kid: “Why can’t I see into the ketchup bottle?”

Me: “Because you wear glasses.”

Kid: “Why does that matter?”

Me: “Because Heinz-sight is 20/20!”

Wife: huge eye roll

It was glorious!

What do you get when a red ship crashes into a blue ship?
Marooned sailors .

5 out of 6 scientists say Russian Roulette is safe.
The other one could not comment.

I got attacked by one, three, five, seven and nine.
The odds were against me.

I bought Stevie Wonder a Cheese Grater for his Birthday
He told me that it was the most violent book he's ever read.

Jack the lad was speeding along a country lane in his new Jeep, when two farmers on a tractor pulled out of a gate twenty yards ahead.
Jack turned the wheel, smashing the car through the hedge into the field. The car bounced and flipped for 50 yards, then crashed back onto the road and carried on at speed.

The tractor driver turned to his mate and said, "Holy shit! We only just got out of that field in time!"

An old man is lying in his death bed...
His son is sitting next to him, with concern and sadness writ all across his face. Suddenly, his father starts laughing, and not just laughing but full on guffawing. The son, startled and astonished, asks his father, "Dad! Why are you laughing? Are you suddenly feeling better?"

His father replies, "No! I just wanted to have the last laugh!"

I tried to get him to give up heroin
But it was in vein

At the dealership checking out a new truck, the salesman said, “This truck is loaded with features, and of course it comes equipped with a backup camera.”
I said, “That’s good… just in case the first one breaks.”

I want to open a restaurant that fuses Chinese and Middle Eastern cuisine.
I'd call it "Wok Like an Egyptian".

I bought shredded cheese on accident instead of a block so my wife made me reassemble it.
That was degrating

What generations of penguins are currently alive?
Only Gen 2

In Antigua and Barbados, they quote Pi to 3.14
In Jamaica and Cuba 3.14159

In Trinidad and Bermuda 3.141592654

These are the Pi Rates of the Caribbean

What time is it in the dirty litter box?
Too turdy

Scientists tried to genetically mix a leopard and a crab...
...but they stopped soon, when they realised it can go sideways really fast!

Did you know that the best bakers are cats?
It's because they make everything from scratch.

A guy walks into a music store and asks about their hip-hop selection. The clerk tells him they only carry Nas and Tupac.
The guy says “no biggie” and walks out.

Are people born with a photographic memory?
Or does it take time to develop?

I'm an attendant who sells bus tickets at the booth. Man comes up and asks me how long the next bus will be.
Damn stupid question.

I reply 'Same length as the last one'.

I asked the dealership for a value on my car today.
They asked if the fuel tank was full or empty.