Did you know that bees are actually allergic to pollen?
They develop hives...
Apparently you can't use 'beefstew' as a password.
It's not stroganoff.
A little writing advice for this sub: Dad jokes must include the letters D and S.
Otherwise, it’s just a joke.
So excited!! Today I went to the OREO website…
I hit the “Accept all cookies” Now we wait…. 😋🍪
The inventors of the brochure have sadly passed away.The inventors of the brochure have sadly passed away.
RIP Pam Flett, and her husband, Lee.
St. Peter is up in Heaven and walking down the hallway when he passes God’s office, only to find God burying his head in his hands. “What’s wrong?” St. Peter asks, “You look really upset.”
“I am really upset,” God says, “I’m in love with an atheist and she doesn’t even know I exist.”
2 guys were arrested for stealing a calendar
They each got 6 months
What was Adam and Eve's preferred method of payment?
Apple Pay.
Just when you thought vegetables couldn't play sports
salad bowls
Father AlvinMinistering to Las Vegas, the Sin City, is a difficult task for any priest, but Father Alvin took to the task with dedication. Occasionally, gamblers would not even bother to cash out at the casino, and would instead deposit chips directly into the collection plate.
This left the priest to having to sort them between the various casinos to then exchange for money, and thus to be able to continue the work of the church - helping the poor and so on. But as his church grew, the Father had to spent more and more time sorting and less time ministering to his church. This led him to write to the dioceses for help.
A local monastery was tasked to aid him. The monks would sort and count, and deliver bundles for turn in to each casino to the Father. The church grew and its good works grew as well, assisting the local community, all due to the good work of Father Alvin and the chip monks.
Why couldn’t the rigatoni get into the apartment?
Gnocchis!
What do non-binary donkeys use for pronouns?
He/Haw
My wife beamed with pride and said "I never thought our son would go so far!".
I said, "Yeah this trebuchet thing is amazing! Go get our daughter."
The drummer, upset that the band was playing too slow, angrily played faster.
He was having a tempo tantrum.
My can opener is broken.
Now it's a can't opener.
Why were Tigger and Eeyore staring in the toilet?
They were searching for Pooh.
What electronic payment service has the Catholic Church started using for donations and tithes?
PaPal.
[META] What is up with the bots in this sub?Like seriously, in every post there's that one newly-created account commenting the most ChatGPT-esque response to a joke, and it's starting to get annoying.
What is going on here?
What city is in the middle of czechoslovakia . . . four letters
Oslo
I’m on the Paleo Diet. There’s a restaurant nearby owned by a guy named Leo after I eat…
…I pay Leo.
I asked my wife, if I was the only one she'd ever been with. She said yes.
All the others had been nine or tens.
I asked my depressed friend if he wanted to do a crossword with me
He was 2 Down
100 years ago, everyone owned a horse…100 years ago, everyone owned a horse…
And only the rich had cars.
Now everyone has cars, and only the rich have horses.
The stables have turned.
I told my wife I was going to the store for some bay leaves
She told me the liquor store is closed on Sundays.
What do you call a bee in U.S.?
USB!
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