If tomb is pronounced TOOMand womb is pronounced WOOM
why isn't bomb pronounced BOOM?
It just might be....................if you're on the receiving end.
A priest, a pastor and a rabbit went to a clinic to donate some blood...Nurse (to the rabbit): What's your blood type?
Rabbit: I'm probably a type O.
What do you call a Sugar that can write with both Hands?
Ambidextrose
The Mandalorian asked Little Miss Mufet what she was eating for dinner.
She replied, "This is the whey."
What happens when something hits you at high frequency?
It hertz
What do you call a person who dies whilst lifting weights?
A Dumb Bell End.
I was debating where to stream the new Hamlet movie.
Tubi or not Tubi...
Why couldn't the Mexican archer hunt? He didn;t habanero.
Spiders.
Why don’t spiders go to school ? Because they learn everything on the web 😇.
I've just received the news I'm a kleptomaniac
To be fair I took it rather easily
I finally organized my junk drawer. Now it's just a drawer…
…and I can’t find any of my junk!
I'll never forget how many sit ups my dad used to make me do
They're core memories.
If you're American when you go in the bathroom...... and American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European.
A cowboy walks into a bar petting his pony. Bartender asks…
“Are you feeling a little horse?”
My doctor told me I’m going deaf.
The news was hard for me to hear...
I finally got with a girl last nightNow all my posts to
r/jokes show up here, something wrong with reddit?
My girlfriend said she’s missing her periods
I said: “no wonder you always text me in run on sentences.”
I told my goofy math teacher that
Trigonometry jokes are a sin
Wifey.
I was really struggling to get my wife's attention.
So, I sat down on the sofa and looked comfortable. That did the trick.
What’s a cannibals favorite cold cut?
Baloney (below-knee)
After years of putting it off, I finally finished my book on Italian seasoning.
It’s about thyme.
When you are with Spanish speaking friends, make sure you say "mucho" often
It means a lot to them.
My toddler wouldn't nap, so I unplugged the nightlight and said "lights out"He said, "Watt"?
I said, "Don't argue, I've got the power here. I will ground you if I have to"
What actor are you most likely to see strolling about?
Christopher Walken
Did you know that Mjolnir has a different name when Thor throws it?
Then it becomes Mjolfar.
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