The inventors of the brochure have sadly passed away.The inventors of the brochure have sadly passed away.
RIP Pam Flett, and her husband, Lee.
So excited!! Today I went to the OREO website…
I hit the “Accept all cookies” Now we wait…. 😋🍪
St. Peter is up in Heaven and walking down the hallway when he passes God’s office, only to find God burying his head in his hands. “What’s wrong?” St. Peter asks, “You look really upset.”
“I am really upset,” God says, “I’m in love with an atheist and she doesn’t even know I exist.”
My wife beamed with pride and said "I never thought our son would go so far!".
I said, "Yeah this trebuchet thing is amazing! Go get our daughter."
Just when you thought vegetables couldn't play sports
salad bowls
What city is in the middle of czechoslovakia . . . four letters
Oslo
I’m on the Paleo Diet. There’s a restaurant nearby owned by a guy named Leo after I eat…
…I pay Leo.
I asked my wife, if I was the only one she'd ever been with. She said yes.
All the others had been nine or tens.
[META] What is up with the bots in this sub?Like seriously, in every post there's that one newly-created account commenting the most ChatGPT-esque response to a joke, and it's starting to get annoying.
What is going on here?
Father AlvinMinistering to Las Vegas, the Sin City, is a difficult task for any priest, but Father Alvin took to the task with dedication. Occasionally, gamblers would not even bother to cash out at the casino, and would instead deposit chips directly into the collection plate.
This left the priest to having to sort them between the various casinos to then exchange for money, and thus to be able to continue the work of the church - helping the poor and so on. But as his church grew, the Father had to spent more and more time sorting and less time ministering to his church. This led him to write to the dioceses for help.
A local monastery was tasked to aid him. The monks would sort and count, and deliver bundles for turn in to each casino to the Father. The church grew and its good works grew as well, assisting the local community, all due to the good work of Father Alvin and the chip monks.
What do you call a bee in U.S.?
USB!
I gave my three-year-old a book of puns for his birthday, but my wife snatched it away, saying, “You can’t give this to a toddler!”
Apparently, it’s a joking hazard.
Did you hear about the two rowboats that got into an argument?
It was an oar-deal.
What do you call a toothbrush that can clean twice as well?
A fourthbrush.
The time I finally got my sonHe’s 30, and constsntly getting me on stupid thing like “deez nutz”. I say summer… “summer deez nutz”. I say Aldi… “Aldi-s nuts”. Been goin on for years.
When we bought our house, we got stools for the island that exactly matched our China cabinet and buffet. He asked how we did it. I told him on this one website you can get a chip of the stained wood sent to you so you can see if it matches. He says “Wos, that’s a great idea”
I look at him with a big grin and say “Yeah… they call it a… STOOL SAMPLE”
My can opener is broken.
Now it's a can't opener.
Mick Jagger’s coming for lunch later
I’m doing him a spiced lamb and couscous bap. I know it’s only a Moroccan roll, but he likes it
I was excited to watch the origami world championship on TV
But it turns out that it’s only on paper view
What is the windiest beer?
draft
I didn't think orthopedic shoes were for me.
But I stand corrected.
I was bored last night, so I texted my ex…
I said, “Are you free tonight?”
She replied, “Yes”
I said, “See, nobody likes you.”
Which brand of protein powder is the favorite of ultra-orthodox jews?
Oy Whey!
What do you call a tennis player who rejects modern cleaning tools?
Novac
Being a grandpa must be tough.
Some baby mispronounces a word, and suddenly your name is Peepo for the last 30 years of your life.
Sometimes the universe just hands you a punchlineI was in the kitchen with my 16-year-old daughter, who wanted to learn to bake. I opened the flour and lo and behold it's got bugs.
I said to her, these are weevils.
She said, "I thought weevils were bigger."
I said, "You're thinking of the boll weevil," and then inspiration struck. "These are the lesser of the two weevils." 💀☠️👻
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