Rofkar Computer Sciences

Monday, September 7, 2026

Humor

Get a Life! / Audio / Headlines

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My doctor said I'd be on my feet in 2 weeks.
And he was right!

I had to sell my car to pay the medical bill.

What do you get when you cross marijuana with a potato?
A baked potato

The exam
The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry midterm, and an actual answer turned in by a student.

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a Divine Being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

My son is at that age where he wants to join a rock band. I told him I played in a band when I was his age.
My band was called The Hinges and we opened for The Doors

What’s the difference between a circus and a brothel?
A circus has a cunning array of stunts

My wife suggested I compile my dad jokes into a book.
I think thats a novel idea.

I got fired from the clock factory.
I thought putting in "extra hours" was a good thing?

Mountains aren’t just funny
They’re hill areas

13-year-old: Did you know that dogs have smooth tongues and cats have rough tongues?
Me: Hmm, I would have thought that dogs were the ones with “ruff” tongues!

Never ask your wife where she wants to eat. Ask her, "Guess where I'm taking you!?"
And whatever she says is where you go.

Follow me for more marriage and relationship advice.'

It’s Sunday, and I told my family that tomorrow we’re going to the local maternity ward to cheer on the expectant mothers.
You know, to celebrate Labor Day.
(really hard to set up a time dependent joke that only works for a US audience)

I decided not to date a girl because she was a communist.
There were just too many red flags.

My son was born on a national holiday
It was Labor Day

Thought they spelled "LICKER STORE" wrong,
until I saw that all they sold were Ice Cream Cones, Envelopes, Stamps and Puppies.

What did the Australian say to the cyclops?
G'eye mate!

Every day I announce to my family I'm going for a jog, then proceed to stay at home
It's my running joke.

What do you call a coffee that's not supposed to be there?
Trespesso

What’s the difference between a saltwater angler and a productivity addict?
One gets hooked on a fish in sea.

I used to hate facial hair
but then it grew on me.

What's a skeletons favourite instrument?
A trom-bone.

I am friends with a sniper who is a self-professed Communist…
He’s a very skilled marxman

I tried to board my flight with a pickaxe, shovel and hard hat. I couldn’t even get through security.
No unaccompanied miners allowed.

Daughter: Can I have a tea?
Me: You can have any letter you want. T... W... M....

I’m at the walk-in clinic and overheard a nurse ask a doctor how many stitches a patient needed.
The doctor said “Suture self.”

I’ve been trying to figure out what foods are problematic for me, so I started writing down what I eat in a notebook.
It’s my diary-a

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Quote

"America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves." - Abraham Lincoln