I used to run game night for psychically gifted children
It was mind boggling
I saw a film that was G, PG-13, and R all at once.
That movie was so overrated.
What did the yoga instructor say to his mom when she said goodbye?
mamaste
What's the pope's favourite herb?
St. Peter's Basilicum
Due to complaints of obstructed views at the Formicidae Colony Concert Hall
A zero taller ants policy was implemented
My wife texted “my slack is so crazy”After a PTO.
I replied with “give it some slack”
Gonna take the rest of the day off, dads! Feeling pretty proud of myself 😂
The Argentinian football team was checking out of their hotel. All the players' rooms were neat except one.
It was Messi.
Starting a burger chain called IceBurger
We sell our meat frozen so we don’t have to worry about electric or gas costs
How do you call an animal doctor that is specialized in fish?
Weterinarian
I won't do airplane jokes anymore.
Last time I tried one, it didn't land well.
What happened in 1980s that caused global warming to increase so rapidly?
I was born. And became hotter every year...
dad jokes
I told my dad I'm going to bed, still asking me to peck him before I go to sleep
A fur seal walks in to a
club....
My wife came up with a groaner today: what is a banshee's favorite country artist?
Waylon Jennings
A guy once told me he was an oxymoron...
Turns out he was not actually addicted to pills and was actually quite smart.
My wife and I decided we don’t want to have kids so I went and got a vasectomy.
But when I got home they were still there 😑
Why did the tree need to take a nap?
For rest.
Why did the face win the race?
Because it was a-head!
My wife asked if I wanted to try roleplay...
I said, "Sure... I'll be the guy who already folded the laundry."
I realized the best name for your car is Link.Not only is it a Zelda reference, but every time you park, you can say you left Link in Park.
(I just thought of this one today.)
The Jetson's pet dog wanted to make a carbonated drink and hired someone to help him make it.
That person was an Astro Fizz-Assist.
Why couldn't the skeleton go to the dance?
He had no BODY to dance with.
Best dad joke?Ok, I want answers on what the best dad joke is.
Contribute or like the one you like best from the discussion.
Me: I hope Messi plays against his arch nemesis
Son: Who's that? Me: Cleany
How could the barista tell which latte was for the golfer?
There was whole in one.
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