Rofkar Computer Sciences

I visited Mecca, Medina & Riyadh, guess what I saw?
I Saudi Arabia.

Asked My Date To Meet Me At The Gym, But She Never Showed Up...
Guess the two of us aren’t going to work out

Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris is said to be recovering well from his death last Thursday.

Where do lizards go after their tail falls off?
The retail store.

How many Latinos does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just Juan.

What is the difference between a well dresssed man on unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle ?
attire

cancer doesn't beat the dad jokes
Context: my dad has an aggressive brain tumor and we had to put him into hospital a few days ago because his condition worsened alot. I visitied him yesterday and he's weak and can barely talk.

Nurse comes in and says "Hello Mr. XY I will give you a ride to the lung X-Ray now"

My dad gathers all his strength that he still has to say "Hope i don't need a ticket"

I laughed and cried. It took him 5 tries until we could finally understand him

I was very upset when my wife told me our son wasn't mine.
Then she said I should pay more attention when I pick the kids up from school.

I found a guy kayaking in my attic when I got home from work today...
It turns out he was a ceiling rafter.

Receptionist answering phone at Dermatologist office, “Hi, how may I assist you?”
Caller, “I’m reporting that a small, furry creature with tiny eyes and looks like no ears is digging tunnels in my yard.”

Receptionist, “May I ask why you are telling me that?”

Caller, “The doctor told me to let him know if I saw any suspicious moles.”

If two vegans are having an argument…
…is it still considered a beef?

What’s the difference between a beer nut and a deer nut?
A bowl of beer nuts is about $1.80, but you can always find a deer nut under a buck.

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life.
He was right, I feel ten years older already.

Next time, I’m just taking the bus.

Word choice is very important.
For example, "Doctors Without Boundaries" can't be a charitable organization.

Both sides of the aisle...
I love politically incorrect jokes... this is one of my faves...

Benjamin Franklin was a great American President.

How do you show appreciation to an android veteran?
Thank you for your servos.

When is a Door, not a Door?
When it is Ajar...

What do you call a helicopter with an ejection seat?
A Chopper

What do paint and wire have in common?
They are the only types of strippers your wife will let you be around.

I've got a new job - trying to find the smallest species of Ursus
To be honest I do the bear minimum

TRUE Story. I was a massage therapist for several years. Had a client that owned horses.
She apologized for coming right from the barn to her appointment. I said, "No problem, climb up and I will take you from Farm to Table. "

She laughed on and off thru the entire hour.

Why do chicken coops have only 2 doors?
Because if they had 4 they'd be chicken sedans.

Why did the Misers name their son Attention?
So that when he got to school, every time the other students were caught day-dreaming or nodding off in class, the teacher would require them to pay him.

Bar.
A man with authority walks into a bar.

He orders everyone a round.