An Air and Space museum opened up near me and it's just an empty warehouse.
I was disappointed at first but I can't really complain. Its exactly as described.
Have you ever thought why you have never seen an elephant hiding in a tree?Have you ever thought why you’ve never seen an elephant hiding in a tree?
Because they’re really good at it.
And why do elephants paint their balls red?
To hide in cherry trees.
And what’s the loudest sound in the jungle?
A giraffe eating cherries out of cherry trees
My kids asked why I brag about how amazing I used to be at Hide and Seek when I’m so terrible at it now.
Truth is… I peeked in high school.
What's E.T. short for?
Because he's only got little legs.
My wife woke up sick and asked if we had any cold medicine.
I said, “Sorry babe, all the medicine we have is warm.”
Why are we still allowing adult jokes here?A dad joke is something you can tell a child. It's innocent and sometimes dumb, but is never adult in nature.
I know I'm not the first to say this, I keep seeing inappropriate jokes posted.
Edit: After the many replies, I now understand that my idea of a dad joke does not match this subs.
Thanks for educating me on the error of my ways.
I understand I was wrong. The message has been delivered loud and clear.
Can you all please just leave me alone now.
I made a mistake. I get it.
At the husband's funeral, I walked up to the widow and said "Earth."
She said "Thank you, that would have meant the world to him."
What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot?
A walkie talkie!
My doctor said I should cut down on sodium.
But I always take his advice with a grain of salt.
Everyone knows about famous painter Bob Ross but few have heard about his brother
Albert who was famous for his 6 foot wingspan.
What is the difference between an Indian restaurant and a Vietnamese restaurant?
Vietnamese restaurants are pho profit, Indian are naan profit.
What is the scariest plant?
BAMBOO!
[warning 18+]
19
Grandpa never liked cousin Dale.I always wondered why grandpa didn't like cousin Dale. Whenever dale would come around, Grandpa would brush him off and head outside. When Dale would join us at the dinner table, Grandpa would get up and head to the couch with his meal. He never seemed to like Dale so one day I asked Grandma why.
"Oh dear, cousin Dale went on a hunting trip one winter even after Grandpa told him it was a horrible idea and he'd end up froze to death. Cousin Dale ended up getting frostbite and lost half the piggies on his right foot!" she said.
"So grandpa hates cousin Dale because he went hunting even though he warned him not to?" I asked.
"No sweetie, he's just Lack Toes Intolerant."
If a rancher had to know the total weight of his herd, would he weigh each cow indvidually?
Or would he do it on a large scale?
Old McDonald had a Server Farm
A.I., A.I., O
What do you call a sad raspberry?
A blueberry.
My sock has a hole in it.
Darn it.
What did the football coach say to the vending machine
Give me my quarterback
Spring is finally here; let's remember the Irish pioneer of outdoor leisure
Paddy O'Furniture
I’m building a dating app for elderly people.
It’s called Carbon Dating.
What do you call a Mexican Jedi that delivers babies?
OB Juan.
What's it called when a conman writes to you?
Context
As a man its often hard to find a place where you can change a baby
They always want a receipt
What is the difference between a Genealogist and a Gynecologist?One looks at the family tree.
Other looks at the family bush.
top
