Why couldn't the Mexican archer hunt? He didn;t habanero.
I've just received the news I'm a kleptomaniac
To be fair I took it rather easily
The Mandalorian asked Little Miss Mufet what she was eating for dinner.
She replied, "This is the whey."
If you're American when you go in the bathroom...... and American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European.
What do you call a person who dies whilst lifting weights?
A Dumb Bell End.
My girlfriend said she’s missing her periods
I said: “no wonder you always text me in run on sentences.”
My doctor told me I’m going deaf.
The news was hard for me to hear...
I finally got with a girl last nightNow all my posts to
r/jokes show up here, something wrong with reddit?
What’s a cannibals favorite cold cut?
Baloney (below-knee)
Wifey.
I was really struggling to get my wife's attention.
So, I sat down on the sofa and looked comfortable. That did the trick.
I told my goofy math teacher that
Trigonometry jokes are a sin
After years of putting it off, I finally finished my book on Italian seasoning.
It’s about thyme.
When you are with Spanish speaking friends, make sure you say "mucho" often
It means a lot to them.
What happens when something hits you at high frequency?
It hertz
Did you know that Mjolnir has a different name when Thor throws it?
Then it becomes Mjolfar.
My jet-setting buddy bought me a ticket to Paris to be best man in his wedding. Afterwards, we all raised our champagne flutes. "To the bride and groom," I said. "Eggs, cinnamon bread, and maple syrup."
It was a French toast.
Why does...
everyone take offence, that's just favouritism, I think people should take a gate sometimes or maybe even a shed.
My friend handed me a peach. I told him I prefer pears.
So he handed me another one.
What would you call an astrologer's Hallowe'en prediction?
A horrorscope.
I have a Polish guy in my band
and a Czech one too.
So there's Two fish in a tank ..One turns to the other and says "who's driving this thing?"
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