“I keep thinking that I’m a moth.” I replied.
“You probably want a Psychiatrist for that.”
“Yeah, I know.”
He looked confused. “Then why are you here?”
“The light was on.”
After a few tough years, money gets tight, and they’re at risk of losing everything.
To save the farm, they decide they need a bull so they can start breeding their own cattle.
The older sister says, “I’ll take the bus to the livestock auction. You keep the pickup truck ready.
If I find a good bull, I’ll send you a message so you can come get me with the trailer.”
Off she goes, hoping to find a bargain.
At the auction, she finds the perfect bull.
The seller says, “Price is $599—take it or leave it.”
She counts her money, sighs, and hands it over, leaving herself with just one dollar.
She heads into town and stops at the old telegraph office.
“I need to send a message to my sister,” she says.
The clerk replies, “Sure thing, ma’am—99 cents per word.”
She pauses, thinking hard, then smiles.
“Alright,” she says, “send just one word… ‘comfortable.’”
The clerk looks confused and says, “How in the world will she know what you mean?”
The sister grins and says, “Oh, she’ll figure it out.
She’s not the fastest reader, so she’ll sound it out nice and slow…
com-for-da-bull.”
It was a French toast.
The young driver jumped out, furious.
"LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY CAR! You owe me $10,000 right now, or I'm going to beat you half to death!"
The old man looked shaken.
"Oh my goodness," he said. "I don't have that kind of money. Let me call my son - he trains dolphins. He'll know what to do."
"DOLPHINS?" the guy scoffed, rolling his eyes.
The old man dialed his phone. Before he could say a word, the angry driver grabbed it.
"So you're a dolphin trainer, huh?" he barked into the phone. "Well your old man just wrecked my car. I need ten grand RIGHT NOW - or I'm going to beat BOTH of you to a pulp!"
A calm voice replied, "I'll be there in ten minutes."
Exactly ten minutes later.
...a Jeep screeched to a stop.
A man stepped out, walked straight up to the bully, and absolutely flattened him, leaving him groaning on the pavement.
Then the man turned to his father and said,
"Dad. for the LAST time. I train seals. Navy seals. Not dolphins."
The old man repeats, louder this time, “I said I want to open a DAMN account!”
The manager comes over and asks what’s going on.
The teller says, “He keeps swearing!”
The old man says, “I just won 10 million dollars in the lottery and I want to put it in this damn bank!”
The manager smiles and says, “Oh, I see… and is this woman giving you a hard time?”
"Yes, coach", replied the boy.
"Do you understand that what matters is we win or lose as a team?"
The boy nodded in yes.
The coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when an out is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the umpire, or call him a pecker-head or spit at him. Do you understand all that?"
Again, the boy nodded yes.
And when I take you out of the game so that another boy gets a chance to play, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach a dumb ass or throw things at him, is it?"
"No, coach.”
Good," said the coach, "Now go over there and explain all that to your Grandma!”
"Let our ideal be less seizures and more of exchange, less government methods in business and more business methods in government." - Spencer Heath
