The first 3 letters of 'Sweden' and 'Denmark' spell out 'Sweden.'
The remaining letters spell out 'Denmark.'
I got kicked out of a Vietnamese restaurant.
They bahn mi pho life.
Teacher ArrestedTeacher Arrested!
A teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator.
At a morning press conference Attorney General Todd Blanche said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
"Al-Gebra is a problem for us," Director of National Intelligence Clayton said. "They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values." They use secret code names like 'X' and 'Y' and refer to themselves as "unknowns", but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.
As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle.
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Trump said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes." White House Director of Communications Cheung told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President. It is believed that the Nobel Prize for Physics will follow.
I was on the train to work and the conductor told me he had to charge me extra for telling dad jokes.
I told him that's not fare.
The wind blew most of the stuff off my desk.
But my stacks of paper remained stationary.
What do you get when you cross a hippo, elephant and rhino?
H-eleph-ino!
What do you call an undercover shoe?
A sneaker
In today’s news, the White House has ordered that “Artificial Intelligence” be renamed “Super Intelligence.”
Officials are now debating whether kettles should be reclassified as steam engines.
What do you call a teacher who never farts in public?
A private tooter. 😂!<
The inventor of Velcro passed away last week.
RIP.
How does a hamburger maker introduce his spouse?
Meat Patty.
Ant farm.
One of the ants on my ant farm dresses up as a clown to cheer up his friends.
He's an anti-depress ant.
Billy Joel's clothes are still wet.
He didn't start the dryer.
Did you know that undead science is mostly practical?
It's largely based on vampirical evidence.
I don't like computer science jokes.
Not one bit.
Where's the best place to find a wedding DJ?
Wikiwikipedia.
Why is Vader called Lord?
Because calling him "Master" made all of the Stormtroopers giggle.
I woke up from a dream that a female horse charged at me
What a night-mare
What did the rocketman say while lowering his orbit around the white dwarf?HOLD ME CLOSER
TINY DENSE STAR
I just found out my new neighbor is European...
He's having a meter sale this weekend.
Without nipples
Boobs would be pointless
You may not understand my treadmill joke;
It’s a running joke and an inside joke
Whats water's chemical formula?
H I J K L M N O
H to O
What sound does a witches vehicle make when she revs it up?BROOM BROOM! BROOOOOOM!
Happy October peeps!
I asked the bank manager why they keep denying me a home loan. I said, “It’s because my job pays me in soothing succulents, isn’t it?”
He said, “Exactly… we consider that aloe income.”
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