My wife is threatening to divorce me because I'm obsessed with Africa.Kenya believe it?
I'd hate for her Togo and leave me...
What am I Guinea do now?
This is all so Sudan...
And we have kids, this is Ghana be hard for them
But you know what? She Congo to Hell.
After massive public outcry from users believing Alexa was listening on everything
Amazon has announced it will be releasing a male version, as it won't be listening to anything at all.
I got fired from my job at the bank today.
An old lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Every time I light my lighter, my lighter gets lighter...
...until my lighter gets so light it won’t light.
Why can't JD Vance can't get pregnant?
He has a pull out couch.
Does sean connery like herbs?
Yes, but only partially
How much of the Quran do Muslims believe in?
Allah it.
Coworker just got fired for throwing keycaps.
SHIFT hit the fan and it all went downhill from there.
Triple Shot: What do you call a Fiat on top of a hill?A miracle! What do you call 2 Fiats on top of a hill? Science Fiction
What do you call 3 Fiats on top of a hill? A weird place to build a Fiat factory.
As it turns out, some kinds of bread are sworn to secrecy.
It's called a Naan disclosure agreement
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef
If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?
Idaho... Alaska!
What do you call a line of men waiting to get a haircut?
A barber queue
Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter?
Pretty nuts, right?
I had a girl in my class who was a bit of a show off and liked to dress in revealing clothing
Some called her unflattering things, but I think she was a model student.
Sesame Street’s vampire has wandered away again.
He’s done it so many times, they’ve lost Count.
I tried to buy a bagel with cream cheese...
But they only accept cash.
Don’t fall in love with your sink.
The relationship is just too draining.
Why can't a leopard hide?
Because they're always spotted!
To the person that stole my glasses...
I didn't see that coming!
I opened up to my therapist about the shame I felt for getting aroused whenever I looked the mirror.
She said I was being too hard on myself.
Why is the owner of the new Buffalo NFL stadium so angry?
He has a lot of Bills to pay.
I hope that dad riddles are ok here but here goes: 'The more you take, the more you leave behind, what am I? '
Laxatives
When I was younger I wanted to be a chiropractor
But then I found out it was back breaking work
I went to a bar called Scat. Its great...
There is always a stool to sit on
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