Iran just created their own version of Sesame Street. Everything's the same, all the characters are the same, except the Count von Count has been replaced...
...with the Ayatollah Howmany.
I will be confronting the guy who unplugged my refrigerator…
But I need to let things cool off first.
I used to have an uncontrollable obsession with buying large boats.
Thankfully, the antibuyyachtics worked.
Looking for help researching German U-boats
Oops, sorry, wrong sub.
Did you hear about the scientist who accidentally froze himself to -273.15°C?
In the end, he was 0k
Why did Mr. Information file for divorce?
Because so many people were spreading Ms. Information.
Did you hear about the dishonest accountant?
He was a debit to his profession.
My garden gnome was upset when he didn’t win Yard Decoration Of The Year. But…
He wasn’t even gnomenated.
What do you call a pizza with just peppers on it?
Pepperonly pizza
Did you hear about the murder at IKEA?
Yeah, the police are still piecing it together
Tequila may not fix your life.
But it’s worth a shot.
Joke 3.14159In Jamaica, an apple pie costs $3.50 .
In Barbados, a cherry pie costs $4.25 .
In Trinidad, a meat pie costs $5.00 .
Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean. ,
What do French people call a really bad Thursday?…
…a trajeudi
My family recently discovered Grandpa is taking Viagra
We were all rather surprised, but Grandma has been taking it hard
What do you call a well balanced horse?
Stable.
What kind of doctor treats ducks?
A quack
I for one…
…like Roman numerals
Press saying that criminal got away when the rope broke during his hanging…
Fake noose I say.
What do you call an Asian man with a amputated leg?
Lim-ping
I am ashamed that my son became an exterior painter.
His career is a stain on this house!
To the person who stole my place in the queue.
I'm after you now.
To the man who stole my Owl Costume
I'd be looking over my shoulder, if I were you.
There's a gang going through our town, systematically shoplifting clothes in size order ...
The police believe they're still at large.
Cow farts…
…they’re from the dairy air.
Root beer.I accidentally poured my root beer into a square glass.
Now it’s just beer.
top
